His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Life is so much better after having sex.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
