It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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