He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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