I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
