It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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