im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
