The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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