my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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