Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
