Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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