i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
