Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
