smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
