I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
