Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
