Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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