1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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