What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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