ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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