I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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