I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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