we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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