i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
