If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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