A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
