This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize