he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
