Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So much rum. So many feels.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
