If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
