Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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