I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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