all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
