Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
