I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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