in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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