is your mom at the bar?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
