Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
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