I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
