A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
