see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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