Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
