he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
