i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
