she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
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