I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
