The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
They took my balls.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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