I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
