yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
