If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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