apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize