kristin has been a bad kristin
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
sex in a hospital.. check
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
