There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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