So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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