ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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