there's paper in my vomit.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
