Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
