I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
