My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
