just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
