are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
honey bunches of taint.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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