y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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