Porn is love you can see.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
