She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
