they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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