whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize