Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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