She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
