Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
