New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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