worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I believe in your delicious
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