There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
