I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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